So how then does this all start? Was it your first Pow Wow or hearing the drum? Was it your desire to feel the Earth and all that lives on her? Or were you an empty heart looking for a new life and a healing experience? However it began; in a book or at a gathering, you have suddenly found yourself surrounded with the Native American experience and cosmic things begin to take place in your life. It is in the music, a new way of dressing, seeing and reacting to life. Somehow you end up from reading a good book by a Lakota author to a Sweat Lodge and soon you have the road map out looking for South Dakota. Some of you are going to save the poor savages and others are heading out to claim your own personal Medicine Power. Somewhere in there is always a change in jobs and or relationships. Suddenly the shyest homebody is ready to fast for four days and nights and look for road kill birds and animals to create ceremonial tools. A perfectly manicured woman will start to feel comfortable wearing hiking boots with a gypsy skirt and feel no embarrassment about squatting in the woods. Men pierce their ears and grow their hair long again. Together, we seem to be having a wonderful mid-life crisis and looking oh-so 60’s.

Meanwhile, back on the Reservation, life and repression goes on. They found out about you this year in a series of articles in their Native news. Some where seriously concerned. Just as many others said, Hokeyhey, things are as they should be. And its okay for you to be here doing this stuff as long as you honor it in a good way. Everything in a Sacred Manner. All hearts beat Red, etc. But the controversy remains a heated issue at virtually every ceremony and in every home. One must remember that less than 14% are full bloods have even had the opportunity to be raised in a traditional home. Most are just learning their own language for the first time. That is the fault of the white missionaries and they are not soon to forget the pain that came with planned separation for family and the ancient ways.

Between the wholesome entertainment of the Pow Wow and the Spiritual blast of finding a circle of your own kind of people at a Medicine Wheel Gathering, you want more. You begin a search for the perfect teacher. You read lots of books and find a local Sweat Lodge. The more you do, the more you want to do. The more you get to do, the more you have to do. The more you participate in ceremony, the better you feel. Lot of things begins to change. There is now a new way of seeing, and the greatest treasure you own isn’t a diamond ting but it may be a simple stone. And then one day you find out about all of the politics around these traditions; illegal feathers, controversy over your right to participate as a white person, your crafting skills being put on taboo in the creation of ceremonial tools unless you are ready to register on the Indian roles. You run into a trickster who hands you peyote and the key to total enlightment, if only you’ll contribute to his cause each month. And the breaking of the illusion gets more intense. Women find themselves in bed with a so called Medicine Man and feel a new kind of spiritual rape. Men feel used and gullible for putting on a lion cloth and singing “Oh What a silly goose I am” while others feel like they have just been hazed to be part of an exclusive fraternity or sorority of Medicine. Yet others keep looking for the handbook that should come with merit badges. You know, the Sweat Lodge bandage, the Vision Quest badge, The Sundance Badge. It can be like a bad joke if you are naïve to the competition that goes on in many “Rainbow Circles” or traditional ones, for that matter.

It is not hard to understand how there could be any controversy or lack of harmony with anyone practicing these ways. The whole point is supposed to be everyone coming together to create a brave new world. Together we are to heal each other and our planet. SO how could this “who’s on first” have any place within this beautiful, powerful religion? How cans this reverse discrimination or clashing or circles be a spiritual experience? Who is a real Medicine Man or Women? Where do you find honest teachers and how do you know if they are real or good guys or bad guys or just what is going on out there? It’s so confusing and all you wanted to do was be a better person, love your kids more and do something worthwhile for the planet. How on Earth did you end up at the brunt of the Universal Joke? And who are these tricksters, anyway?

And the beat goes on. The process of spiritual evolution weeds out the weak at heart and the tough survivors just keep moving around the Medicine Wheel. We look to the East and pray for clarity and understanding and each new day we look for new hope. We look to the South and honor our tricksters and welcome them with a tobacco offering that says, “I don’t think its need that painful lesson anymore”, and we become a child once again. We look to the West and look for the hope in new dreams and the healing ways of the bear. But we always come back to the North winds of change and honor that it is all part of the process. And then we survive ourselves and the Medicine.

Oh don’t get me wrong. There’s not a lot about these ways that I would change. I have enjoyed the challenge and the stimulus. I have raged through the changes and swayed into the future with great joy in my heart. I love every dance and dream. I love the songs and sounds and the feelings of life throbbing through my entire being with the completion of each of these ceremonies. But I do look both ways to separate my Shaman from the Showman. I now ask how they live their life. Do they “walk their talk”? Are they civic minded, do they take care of the environment, and the children. Do they charge for ceremony? DO they maintain a real home with a real address or have I just become a new home in a long list while they were out on the road. And you may think it strange, but I also need to know if they are abusers of alcohol and or their own mate. There is a great deal of violence on the Reservations and many came to these ways to cure addictions. Some take longer to cure than others. I don’t need to be spiritually abused just to learn some great new cosmic ceremony.

My teachers say, we all have a right to be here in this Sacred Circle. They say that it helps the planet for us to come together and share ceremony in a good way. The teachers I honor have never charged for a ceremony, only seminar fee or have accepted a love offering to help pay for gas, wood to burn or coffee to share. I value their time the same as I would my doctor or lawyer and put a financial as well as emotional commitment to my healing process with them. THAT IS MY CHOICE. I was taught that the only way to have room to fill your cup with new blessings is to empty it once in a while and share the old blessings. I tithe to my spiritual community and the return has always been there when I needed it. The give away ceremony is by far one of the most powerful that I have learned.

The most powerful lesson that we learn is to know our own limits. Know when to question, know when to listen without question and know when to say “That is not something I choose to do.” You won’t be damned or sent away to a fiery place. In these ways, you may be asked to leave a circle, but the alternatives are always there. That is why we choose this path, because of the vast number of personal alternatives. How can you expect an unorganized process to behave in an organized system? Thus we also learn to drop our expectations of the lesson and learn how to live again beyond time and fear…beyond the limitations.

Learning the Native American Spirituality is a great gift. Savor it, nurture it and take your time with it. The Medicine has stayed alive a lot longer than you or I would ever hope. Now you have a chance to open your eyes and approach all of nature in a new way. Now you have the chance to be that Seventh Generation that the ancestors said would cone to revive spirit. Just be smart while you do it. Leave the starry eyes for the dreamtime, and remember to be Earth bound in your quest upon this new spiritual frontier.